fighting the urge to run

ok, I admit it...my name is Heather, and I am a commitment-phobic. I run from relationships after about a year with some excuse or another.

So, being single (as I currently am) the desire to run should be lower...but I have reached the second wave of weddings in my social group. And I have begun to spaz. four years ago, three of my friends "jumped ship" and added the left hand jewelry. this year, well...lets see...8 weddings (I have 5 left that I could go to) and 6 babies.

In the first wave of weddings, I twitched so much that I moved 350miles south. and I am fighting the urge right now to do the same thing again.

I hate watching people move on. I don't know if I am jealous, if I feel as though I am being left behind. I can't figure myself out. and I am sure this isn't the place that I should vent this out, but I don't know where else to do it.

we aren't even going to go into what I am living with right now. my roommate's boyfriend is being "put out" of his home (he pseudo mooches off of his older brother) and is now over at my place way more often than I know how to react to. the desire to blow my lid...well....

enough. I know it has been a while. but there is more than I know how to start saying.